...so i touched it.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Randomize
