where am i from again
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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