I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
