Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
