I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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