Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
