I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
babies were throwing up all over the place
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
