Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
