just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
This house was built for laser tag.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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