My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Randomize