i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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