i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
we have officially lost it.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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