The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
