help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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