So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
