His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
