you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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