Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
