two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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