summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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