I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
ttyl tear gas
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
