She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
