I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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