I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize