Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
