I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
