so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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