i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
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