Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
where are you?
Hypothermia
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize