god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
