I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
