Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
