I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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