I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
