Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I have post one night stand depression
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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