IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
