My friends, they love my intelligence
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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