I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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