so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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