Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
