it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
