Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
