Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
