i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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