wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Randomize
