we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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