Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
