i just sent this text using only my big toe
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
You don't make any sense
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