I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize