Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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