Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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