its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
