It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
It was confusing and full of hummus
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
