Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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