Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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