carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
