okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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