i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
My vagina just clenched in fear
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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