That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
